Fear is one of the biggest things in our lives and it’s what stops
us from doing the things we know we should do. But what is fear? In the olden
times fear was real and there was real reason to fear things as every day
there was a real possibility that you might die. But these days I deal with
people who come to see me not because they fear real dangers but because they
fear their thoughts! Not real things at all. Thoughts!
People fear this and they fear that and the most of the things that they
fear not only hasn’t happened but also in the vast majority of cases
will NEVER happen. Yet they still come into see me with this “fear”.
These fears are mainly made up scenarios that they have in their own heads
that cause them to be fearful. If you go about thinking thoughts about scenarios
of events that you imagine turn out negatively those thoughts turn into feelings
and then people label those feelings as FEAR.
I used to do it too, I’d think about something and create the most
ludicrously unlikely scenario about it and then convince myself that whatever
it was really was a frightening situation. Then I would think about it a bit
more and then a bit more until I had installed a really negative feeling associated
to it.
When it didn’t happen I would then sigh a massive sigh of relief and
then pat myself on the back for thinking I had helped myself to avoid it by
going through the mental torture. Then I would use it as a future reference
point as to make myself believe that by thinking negatively about a situation
I was actually helping to prevent a situation from occurring!
How ludicrous! Why do we do this? With most people this is a natural way
of thinking and they rely on it to help them to avoid perceived negativity.
They fear that if they do not think about these possible negative consequences
they might actually happen. They believe if they did happen they would have
wished that they had been more sensible and thought about it in order to prevent
them from happening.
They think that if they think about the worst cases scenarios then if they
happen then they will be more prepared. Now that I do not do it any more guess
what? These bad things never happened to me anyway. The only thing that has
happened is that I no longer walk about feeling fearful. The sky didn’t
fall on my head because I no longer thought about it. My plane journeys haven’t
ended in disaster and I didn’t get killed as I walked down the road
either!
People live their lives as if there is always some impending disaster about
to hit so they are tense waiting for it to show up. This tension creates acid
in the body, which attacks the bodies organs that if not stopped will end
in disaster!
Can you relate to any of this do you view situations such as job interviews
or social gatherings as fearful situations? Do you get nervous when you get
into your car or if you need to get on a plane?
If so the problem does not lie with the event itself, the problem lies with
the way you are running your thoughts. Your thoughts create the way that you
feel so you had better think some better thoughts about those events otherwise
you are going to feel pretty bad about them.
The thing that stops people from doing just that is that the way they have
been thinking has become habit form. If you have always thought like that
then the ongoing tendency to carry on doing it the same way can be quite strong.
Strong but not impossible to change.
It takes around 20-30 days to establish a habit so not doing it for that
length of time can reverse the trend. I have found the most effective way
to reverse these negative thought patterns is with Thought Re-training as
well as other important information, which is outlined in the Principles of
Life book, which is available on this site.
The Principles of Life book shows you how you can transform your fear into
courage.
Do not let fear rule your life.
Remember fear is just thoughts!
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