One of the most important things in actually making
therapy succeed is how comfortable and confident you are with your
therapist. If you are in any way uncomfortable or do not believe that this
person will help you it will definitely affect the outcome. Often people
will stick with a therapist they are not happy with or not getting the
results they want as they "don't want to offend the therapist".
Unfortunately a lot of my clients come to see me after
seeing bad therapists. I've lost count of the times people come into my
office almost brainwashed by too much therapy and need straightening out. A
lot of therapists still prescribe to the old notion that all present day
problems stem from an unhappy childhood and they spend months if not years
having the client relive their unhappiest memories on the therapists couch.
I find though that clients have already spent too much time analysing that
themselves and don't need to relive those memories any more. Its largely
because of that reason that they need to see me in the first place,
too much analysis on the past. I find that clients typically do not want to
deny the past they just want to get on with their lives and learn how to move on
to a happier life.
As you can probably tell I'm not a fan of regression therapy and I can only think
the motivation for the therapist to take a client down that route is purely
for financial gain. It is the over analysis and over dissecting of
everything the client says that in my experience puts the client in a worse
position than when they came in. The question you need to ask yourself is
who is the therapist to advise you? Is the therapist a happy well balanced
person or does he/ she seem a little odd? Is the person giving advice living
what they preach? I've met a lot of therapists who seem very odd and I have
also treated a lot of therapists for depression too. These people were
still treating clients even though they were coming to see me.
My guide to picking as right therapist. Ask yourself:
-
Do they seem human / normal to you?
-
Are they sympathetic though not in a false
patronising way
-
Do they seem happy/ enthusiastic to a good outcome
for you?
-
How much experience do they have?
-
How long do they estimate therapy will take to
resolve your problem?
-
Do they talk to you in a way that makes you feel
comfortable?
-
Do they seem genuine?
-
What does your gut tell you?
-
Does what they say make clear and perfect sense to
you?
Make no mistake there are many great therapists out
there. You just need to find one that you feel comfortable with. Your
therapist should be living what they preach. Typically most of my clients
actually enjoy therapy even if the problem they have is difficult for them.
I keep the mood light and use humor to break down the seriousness of the
situation. At all times I take the person and there situation seriously. I
practice what I preach, I am a happy relaxed confident person. I am far from
perfect and I don't pretend to be though I am happier than most people I
meet.
