Ask Steve

                                                                        Q. Hi Steve, love the site its great to read something that actually makes sense to me. There’s so much garbage out there regarding treatment for depression how come other therapists don’t adopt your style of therapy? 

S. I think the problem is that a lot of the traditional therapies such as psychiatry and counseling are still using models of treatment that are outmoded and no longer state of the art in terms of effectively treating clients. Things have moved on but I still get people phoning me complaining of feeling terrible after seeing a therapist or doctor. Unlike NHS treatments many hypnotherapists rely on their own personal style and approach rather than following a prescribed “model” that is taught. I can honestly say that the way I treat my clients today is nothing like the way I was taught at college! I just follow my gut instinct as my experience over the years rarely fails me.

Q. A lot of therapists I see on the net seem to have god like powers and say they can cure just about everything. It makes me skeptical. What is your honest success rate for your treatments?

S. I know what you are saying. Some people on the net act like TV evangelists and they do us no favours what so ever. The reason they do it is so they can convince their clients that they can help them and probably charge more. I never bullshit my clients and no clients come for treatment they don’t need. When clients phone I tell them how many sessions they will probably need based upon my previous clients and how long it took them to feel better. My success rates vary depending on what the problem is. My specialty is anxiety and my success rate is very high, roughly 95% for reducing anxiety. I’d love to say it was 100% but for some reason sometimes therapy doesn’t work for everybody.

Q. What do you think of Paul McKenna? 

S. I like Paul. I’ve never met him personally but you’ve got to admit he’s a good hypnotist. Some people I talk to say they don’t like him, which is fair enough but without meeting him I cant comment on that. When I wanted to be a hypnotist I read Paul’s first book and it blew me away and convinced me to be a therapist so you could say I owe him one. Since then I’ve seen Paul put his neck on the line on TV demonstrations where if things didn’t work he would have looked a right prat. True to form he has always come away with good results and the people seem happy enough afterwards. I think he’s done a lot for highlighting the benefits of hypnotherapy though I’m not a big fan of stage hypnosis. Paul nearly got burned a few years back after a stage show went wrong and a guy tried to sue him so if I was him and I had his money I’d stay well clear and stick to helping people.

Q. What do you do if you think you can’t help a client? How do you work with clients that don’t respond or don’t seem like they want to work with you?

S. If I don’t think I can help a client they don’t get an appointment. I talk to everybody who calls me personally beforehand and I can assess in a minute whether or not I can help them. If I think I cant I politely decline them. Experience tells me that if I don’t have good rapport with a client the results will be poorer than with those who I have rapport with. I rarely find that people aren’t receptive though as they are paying for it after all. People who generally cancel appointments at short notice tend to be a waste of time and will not follow the program. They tend to keep canceling until we fall out and I bill them for missed appointments. I find the people who turn up early for an appointment are the ones who are the best to work with. The vast majority of people I work with are an absolute pleasure and are fantastic people to work with. I’ve met so many nice people that I believe I learn just as much from them as they learn from me!

Q. Why did you decide to become a therapist?

Even as a kid I was always intrigued by hypnosis and probably like most people I had an idea that it was very mysterious and I was fascinated by by the things I saw on TV about it. The reality is though that hypnosis is not mysterious at all and you don't have to be strange in order to be able to do it! I had some real personal problems when I was younger that related to poor self image and confidence which I completely eradicated using self hypnosis and personal development techniques. I found the changes so profound that I decided I wanted to help people with similar problems so I went to college back in 93 and the rest is history really. For me to help people is my dream job. I've never known a job where people thank you so whole heartedly. The letters and emails I receive make me so proud that I sometimes cant believe they relate to my help.  Talk about job satisfaction! I still have to pinch myself when I receive the letters I get sometimes. I still feel as enthusiastic now as much as I did back in the nineties. I still get excited by every person that calls me. Every person is different which means there is still so much challenge in my work.

Q. Do you ever become friends with your clients?

S. No. They are not paying me for my company. I’m not an escort! I do genuinely like my clients but when they stop seeing me I want them to forget about me and get on with their lives. If I pass them in the street I just smile and say “hi” or something. All of my work is confidential so they probably wouldn’t like it if I came up to them in the street and started to discuss their old problem when there with their mates! Some of the clients I see are the nicest people you could ever meet and a true inspiration to me.

Q. How do you prepare for your clients?

S. Every client is unique so there is no canned therapy for my clients. Every clients details and requirements are noted and I create a personal treatment strategy for that client. I prepare my strategy the night before I see the client so I don't just wait to see who comes through the door. I read through my case notes, read further strategies and mentally think through what I think is the best way to tackle the clients challenge. So there is a lot more going on than just the hour I spend with the client. Clients often ask me how I can talk for half an hour to them whilst they are in hypnosis without the need for a script and produce a totally unique induction just for them. My answer is always the same. Preparation is the key, when they are talking to me about their problem I am mentally absorbing what they are saying and preparing the script to help them in my head. I trust my subconscious mind knows what to make me say to get the job done for the client. It never fails me.

Q. What sex do you see more of, men or women?

S. This is a question I get asked a lot. If I go through my dairy for last year I see that its approximately 65% women and 35% men. That's not to say women need therapy more than men though. I just think they're more open to doing something about it than men. Some weeks I have all men others women. I guess that some guys think its not manly to ask for help.

Q. What is the weirdest thing you get asked to treat?

S. What seems weird to you is the norm for me. There's not much I haven't  been asked to do in 11 years. I have turned down some bizarre requests usually because the person who calls has no idea about the reality of hypnosis. I get women call me and say "I think my husbands having an affair can you hypnotise him to tell the truth?". I've had guys say "can you teach me how to hypnotise women to sleep with me" The movies have a lot to answer for. I've done past life regression a few times and the results are pretty spooky but I wouldn't take it too seriously. In my daily work nothing seems weird to me.